It's the things/people we care about most that have the power to give us joy and also cause us pain. I know this isn't an original thought. But it's been on my mind recently, and I think it bears repeating. Certainly none of us gets through life without learning the truth of it. Examples are all around us. The dream of true love might last a lifetime or turn into a true nightmare if the relationship ends badly. The prosperous career may bring satisfaction and financial reward or may crash and burn when the economy suddenly goes south. The cause we've poured our life's blood into may succeed gloriously or fail just as spectacularly.
When my husband and I were first married and discussing whether or not we should have kids, I remember saying that children would probably be our biggest sources of joy as well as our biggest heartaches. Parenthood, I figured, would be worth all the sweat and tears if the kids turned out well. But even if we did everything right (which wasn't likely), things could still go horribly wrong. There were no guarantees. In the end, despite a healthy measure of trepidation at the responsibility involved, we decided to go ahead and have never been sorry. It would have been easier to opt out - modern birth control made that possible - but how much we would have missed by doing so!
The problem is there's no joy without emotional commitment. That's just how we're wired. Yet the more we care, the more we risk being hurt. The same paradox applies to all emotionally risky ventures. It may seem safer not to get involved, not to lay our hearts on the line, especially after having been hurt before. But that would be to opt out of the best life has to offer. In the words of a Bette Middler song, "It is those afraid of dying who never learn to live."
